The Alchemist

Aside from watching movies, I also enjoy reading. I am currently reading Crystal Lake Memories, which is a biography of the Friday the 13^th movies. One of the reoccurring topics of the book is how they had to repeatedly keep cutting footage from the films to just get an R rating. By today’s standards some of them would have barely received a PG-13 rating without cutting a single second.

I just got home from seeing Django Unchained in the theater. There has been some controversy about Django Unchained. Some say it is too violent. While others are saying it is flat out racist. Now, I won’t say that it was, or wasn't  either of those things. This blog isn't about Quentin Tarantino, or his movies. But, this is my blog, and after I got home after seeing the movie it got my thinking.

With all the blood, and guts, that are shown today could you imagine if the horror boom of the late 70’s, and early 80’s, were to happen today. Now I am not talking about all of the recent remakes, but just imagine if Leatherface, Michael, Jason and Freddy were just being born now. I understand that Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out in the mid 70’s, but I still hold it in the same regard as the rest. Plus, I know that recently we had the Saw franchise. While that was a great franchise, it doesn't even come close to the originals.

I know what some of you are saying to yourselves right now. You are saying I am crazy for even suggesting another string of remakes. Well that is not what I am saying at all. First off, let me set the record straight on the remakes. I mentioned Leatherface, Michael, Jason and Freddy early. Instead of coming up with original ideas Hollywood has already remade all of them. Unlike a lot of people, I actually enjoyed the remakes. I like the originals more, but that doesn't mean I can’t enjoy the remakes too. What I am saying is that the originals never took place. What if Hooper, Carpenter, Cunningham and Craven were just starting to make them now? Holy shit, I just blew your mind.

Once I was able to keep my own head from exploding I thought I would sit down and enjoy a cold Pabst, and a Charles Band flick. I know that I said in a previous post that it was proving to be a little difficult to find some of his movies to watch. Well, it turns out that YouTube has just about every movie from the 80’s. After a few key strokes, and mouse clicks, I was enjoying The Alchemist. Hopefully that holds true with some of the rest that are hard to find elsewhere.

There really isn't a lot to say about this movie. Like other movies with Charles Band’s name attached to them, originally The Alchemist was planned for theatrical release, but wasn't released until several years later. Then it was released direct to video. While there are a couple good gore shots at the very end of the movie, there really isn't anything else worth noting throughout the rest of the movie. Overall, the story, effects and acting are all lacking.